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FunGolfer
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Post subject: Here is My Candidate Posted: October 3rd, 2008, 6:54 pm |
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| Nationwide Tour Professional |
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Joined: August 23rd, 2008, 8:07 am Posts: 2946 Location: Northern Virginia / North Carolina
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HERE IS MY CANDIDATE....
I HAVE DECIDED TO BECOME A WRITE-IN CANDIDATE.
HERE IS MY PLATFORM:
(1) 'Press 1 for English' is immediately banned. English is the official language; speak it or wait at the border until you can.
(2) We will immediately go into a two year isolationist posture to straighten out the country's attitude. NO imports, no exports. We will use the 'Wal-Mart's policy, 'If we ain't got it, you don't need it.'
(3) When imports are allowed, there will be a 100% import tax on it.
(4) All retired military personnel will be required to man one of our many observation towers on the southern border. (six month tour) They will be under strict orders not to fire on SOUTHBOUND aliens.
(5) Social security will immediately return to its original state. If you didn't put nuttin in, you ain't gettin nuttin out. The President nor any other politician will not be able to touch it.
(6) Welfare - Checks will be handed out on Fridays at the end of the 40 hour school week and the successful completion of urinalysis and a passing grade.
(7) Professional Athletes --Steroids - The FIRST time you check positive you're banned for life.
(8) Crime - We will adopt the Turkish method, the first time you steal, you lose your right hand. There is no more life sentences. If convicted for murder, you will be put to death by the same method you chose for your victim; gun, knife, strangulation, etc.
(9) One export will be allowed; Wheat, The world needs to eat. A bushel of wheat will be the exact price of a barrel of oil.
(10) All foreign aid using American taxpayer money will immediately cease, and the saved money will pay off the national debt and ultimately lower taxes. When disasters occur around the world, we'll ask the American people if they want to donate to a disaster fund, and each citizen can make the decision whether it's a worthy cause.
(11) The Pledge of Allegiance will be said every day at school and every day in Congress.
(12) The National Anthem will be played at all appropriate ceremonies, sporting events, outings, etc.
Sorry if I stepped on anyone's toes but a vote for me will get you better than what you have, and better than what you're gonna get. Thanks for listening, and remember to write in my name on the ballot in November.
God Bless America!!!!!!!!!!!
Bill Cosby!!!!!!!!
_________________
As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round. It is only a Game..........Have Fun!!
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nuhips
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Post subject: Re: Here is My Candidate Posted: October 3rd, 2008, 7:49 pm |
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Joined: August 13th, 2008, 9:43 pm Posts: 11087 Location: seattle
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Highscores: 4
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Always knew he was a smart guy...except:
Wal-Mart would go out of business without imports...not all bad though.
I did my time in a hot, sweaty country. Really don't want to sit in a tower in those conditions for 6 more months
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Cobra
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Post subject: Re: Here is My Candidate Posted: October 3rd, 2008, 8:46 pm |
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| Ryder Cup Team Member |
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Joined: August 13th, 2008, 5:38 pm Posts: 10919 Location: Virginia Beach
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Highscores: 1
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FunGolfer wrote: HERE IS MY CANDIDATE....
I HAVE DECIDED TO BECOME A WRITE-IN CANDIDATE.
HERE IS MY PLATFORM:
(1) 'Press 1 for English' is immediately banned. English is the official language; speak it or wait at the border until you can.
(2) We will immediately go into a two year isolationist posture to straighten out the country's attitude. NO imports, no exports. We will use the 'Wal-Mart's policy, 'If we ain't got it, you don't need it.'
(3) When imports are allowed, there will be a 100% import tax on it.
(4) All retired military personnel will be required to man one of our many observation towers on the southern border. (six month tour) They will be under strict orders not to fire on SOUTHBOUND aliens.
(5) Social security will immediately return to its original state. If you didn't put nuttin in, you ain't gettin nuttin out. The President nor any other politician will not be able to touch it.
(6) Welfare - Checks will be handed out on Fridays at the end of the 40 hour school week and the successful completion of urinalysis and a passing grade.
(7) Professional Athletes --Steroids - The FIRST time you check positive you're banned for life.
(8) Crime - We will adopt the Turkish method, the first time you steal, you lose your right hand. There is no more life sentences. If convicted for murder, you will be put to death by the same method you chose for your victim; gun, knife, strangulation, etc.
(9) One export will be allowed; Wheat, The world needs to eat. A bushel of wheat will be the exact price of a barrel of oil.
(10) All foreign aid using American taxpayer money will immediately cease, and the saved money will pay off the national debt and ultimately lower taxes. When disasters occur around the world, we'll ask the American people if they want to donate to a disaster fund, and each citizen can make the decision whether it's a worthy cause.
(11) The Pledge of Allegiance will be said every day at school and every day in Congress.
(12) The National Anthem will be played at all appropriate ceremonies, sporting events, outings, etc.
Sorry if I stepped on anyone's toes but a vote for me will get you better than what you have, and better than what you're gonna get. Thanks for listening, and remember to write in my name on the ballot in November.
God Bless America!!!!!!!!!!!
Bill Cosby!!!!!!!! GOT MY VOTE !!!!!!!!!
_________________ Cobra
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RoyMcavoy
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Post subject: Re: Here is My Candidate Posted: October 4th, 2008, 7:12 am |
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| The Forum God |
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Joined: August 13th, 2008, 7:44 am Posts: 1127 Location: Illinois
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Highscores: 27
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my vote also.
_________________
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Cobra
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Post subject: Re: Here is My Candidate Posted: October 4th, 2008, 7:48 am |
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| Ryder Cup Team Member |
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Joined: August 13th, 2008, 5:38 pm Posts: 10919 Location: Virginia Beach
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Highscores: 1
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RoyMcavoy wrote: my vote also. Would be "Great" to get back on track like that !!!!!
_________________ Cobra
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FunGolfer
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Post subject: Re: Here is My Candidate Posted: October 4th, 2008, 7:57 am |
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| Nationwide Tour Professional |
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Joined: August 23rd, 2008, 8:07 am Posts: 2946 Location: Northern Virginia / North Carolina
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Highscores: 1
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Cobra wrote: RoyMcavoy wrote: my vote also. Would be "Great" to get back on track like that !!!!! He had me at #1
_________________
As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round. It is only a Game..........Have Fun!!
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Cobra
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Post subject: Re: Here is My Candidate Posted: October 4th, 2008, 8:21 am |
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| Ryder Cup Team Member |
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Joined: August 13th, 2008, 5:38 pm Posts: 10919 Location: Virginia Beach
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Highscores: 1
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I could go for that as a single platform also,,,, !!!! 
_________________ Cobra
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